Sometimes I wonder whether I should just embrace my artistic side. I'm okay with it, but lately it feels like its the only thing I'm good at. Seriously.
While I'd rather not work as a "floral designer" anymore (the snobbery of the term makes me wretch alone) they still call when they're in a bind, which is frequently enough that I get a nice paycheck every two weeks. I never thought I could design well but you can't keep ignoring compliments forever. I suppose I'm just worrying myself over nothing but I can't help but think, "Is this it?" After busting my ass on a thesis that goes no where one week and the next is back-burnered because another grad student is more important, I am finding myself wondering if I should just "settle". I've decided that an academic career is something I'm no longer interested in pursuing and have decided to apply to law school, but what if that doesn't pan out? Should I settle on my artistic side? The side that doesn't make sense to me? You have no idea how strange it is to design flowers mentally in your dreams, at stoplights, or on the toilet. You have no idea that I cringe at poorly designed arrangements and at times have to keep myself from fixing them. On vacations our pictures are of the flowers. Its everywhere. And it scares me.
I think its mainly because there isn't any intellectual challenge in it. The only challenge is the design, and when given a range of ingredients it only takes seconds to finish. I know, I'm being silly but I can't help but be confused...
1 comment:
You should do what makes you happy, but I agree that doing something without intellectual stimulation might not work out for you. (Just from what I know of you). I certainly would not think less of you if you were a floral designer/artist! I definitely would not be good at it!
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